Intermittent Rant

I don’t usually flaunt my amazing pattern recognition powers, but watching The Countdown with Keith Olbermann tonight set the little alarms in my head abuzzin’. I mean, if Olbermann’s implication that the word “CAUCus” had some sort of lascivious connotations weren’t enough, there was a string of ED commercials, which got me to thinking: Just WHO is their target demographic???

Before I go on, I must put forward the disclaimer that I am not a regular Countdown viewer and was looking for coverage of the Iowa CAUCus (I feel dirty after typing that for some reason).

By now, we all know the commercials. Couple kissing in the kitchen when suddenly the sink starts spraying water…all…over…them. Or even the dude that goes out shopping with his wife when all of a sudden horns appear over his head. And now this:

I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate this commercial. It’s the gayest thing I’ve ever seen! It’s like ED is part of the cultural landscape now. What’s next? An album? The Erectile Dysfunction Top 40? Movies? A play perhaps?

What makes me cringe all the more is the insinuation of ED in politics. I mean, you watch a football game and it’s not unusual to see a beer commercial or two. Will I have to endure Viva Viagra every time I want to see what’s going on in the latest polls or who’s ahead in the key battleground states? Come on, people, don’t wuss out like Huckabee. Politics is a bloodsport. Show me the gore, show me the guts.

By the way, remember Bob? The guy in the Enzyte commercials with the perpetual grin that would play golf or go for a swim while the satisfied wife served him lemonade. And it had that catchy tune. I miss that tune.

It seems that many people I know are crossing over to the Right these days. I mean, who could blame them? The Republican Party controls the White House, The Congress, and the Supreme Court. It’s like they’re winning the culture war. Well, many have confessed to me their intention to declare their party affiliation as Republican. Fine. I’m an independent and always will be. But I’m an independent because I want to be, because I truly believe in it. And I truly believe everyone has the right to make their own decisions, that that is truly the American way…not to be told what to think or what to favor, but to decide for oneself.

But it’s funny how people tell me that they’re Republicans now. It’s like they’re coming out. It’s like it’s somehow taboo. It’s ironic for lack of a better word. The Republican Party, so rabidly anti-gay, has members that whisper their affiliation. Like it’s a secret. Well, not always. When they’re amongst friends, they’re not too shy. I’ve known a lot of conservatives in my lifetime. It’s like get two of them together and the snide remarks and self-righteous bullshit start flying. But then again, with liberals, it’s not that different. They don’t need backup. A lone liberal can be just as pompous. One liberal can be just as bad as two conservatives.

So like I said, I’m an independent…as I suspect like most Americans. Whether they’re willing to admit it or not.

So I’m trekking around Washington like I always do…on foot, when I decide to give ol’ Mr. Lincoln a visit. It’s been a long time since I’ve been to the Lincoln Memorial, I think to myself as a meander through the throngs of tourists and midday joggers. It was a sweltering day beautiful as it were and the city was awash in vibrant colors. If any of you have been to the Washington, you’d know what a long, arudous journey it can be between the Capitol and the Memorial. Doesn’t seem that long. The walk is almost laughable. But there you are trudging onwards thinking when the hell am I gonna get there???

But I finally made it. I swept up to the top of the steps — one by one — seeing Honest Abe peek out onto the capital horizan. And there I was, all of a sudden, in the presence of the Great Emancipator himself in all his glory. It’s almost a religious experience…even after all the times I’ve been there. It always reminds me of the ancient Temple of Zeus from the days of yore…whatever yore means. And when you think about it, all the cities of the world…from Rio and its Christ the Redeemer statue at Corcovado to Paris and Notre-Dame Cathedral…the rest of the world is littered with monumental tributes in the name of religion. Yet here in Washington, our tributes are not generally for the sake of religious figures but rather ordinary men and women. OUR capital city contains tributes to fallen soldiers and great political leaders. Rather than Jesus or the Virgin Mary, we see visions of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, John F. Kennedy, Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

So then I think about what it is in the American spirit that impels us to “worship” these figures and give them god-like status in our American pantheon. But then it struck me. It’s not that we are raising them to the level of gods. All of these people stood for something, symbolized a value, and it is not these people that we are elevating, but the values they stood for. It is these American values that we wish to worship and hold sacred. It binds us all as Americans. When Jefferson wrote, “We hold these truths to be self-evident…that all men are created equal…”, when Martin Luther King said, “I have a dream…”, when Roosevelt shouted, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself…”, they were espousing our values.

So whenever I see a monument — which happens often in this city — I think about these values. I think about the American religion. It is something deeper than partisan rancor, deeper than Jesus. It’s the thing that truly unites all of us Americans. The anthem, the flag, the eagle all prostrate themselves in this temple, the temple of the great American experiment. So if a politician were to ask me how to get in touch with the American people, I’d smile and point to the Lincoln Memorial and say, “Talk to the man upstairs.”

I’ve been hearing talk of Hillary 2008 lately and it’s got me a little ticked. What’s this allegiance Democrats have to the Clintons??? Doesn’t anyone understand that they’ve been the worst thing to happen to the Democratic party in a long time?

Okay, sure, ol’ Bill won the presidency twice. Sure, he was the only Democratic president to win re-election since FDR. Sure, he presided over unprecedented economic prosperity. But ask yourself this: what has Bill Clinton done for the Democrats? I mean, come on…can anyone tell me one thing he’s done that has benefited his party? He lost control of the House and Senate. The Lewinsky affair, which was a real coup for the Republicans, has irreparably stained his legacy and the credibility of fellow Democrats. And nearly no one that was associated with the Clinton administration has been able to win public office in their own right…take Erskine Bowles, who ran twice for the Senate in NC and lost twice. In fact, the only person that has been somehow able to benefit from her association to him is Hillary. But the White House? Come on!

I was thinking today about how wonderful Norman Rockwell’s paintings were. If you’re not familiar with Normal Rockwell, be sure to check this out. Let’s just say I’m probably the only brown man in the country that admires Norman Rockwell, but that’s beside the point. I was thinking about their irony…yes, irony, for the images that he painted were quite simplistic. Some of them almost mundane. Yet they all seem to convey something extraordinary, something that really strikes a chord (with me, anyway) both as an American and as a human being.

His paintings almost have a certain intrinsic value system. They espouse a way at looking at life…rosy in some ways, starkly real in others…but all of them evoke an ideal. Some could say it is an American ideal. Now I’m not white, so aside from the “White people are so cute!” feelings they muster, I see within them an exuberance for life…something characterized by the American people…an unabashed willingness to reach out into new frontiers, to greet new challenges with a fresh face and an open palm, to cherish our paltry existence on this dear earth of ours with pride and dignity. These are traits I see as uniquely American.

After the election, many of my blue state friends began to wonder about the red states. What happened? Where’s the America I knew? How did America become so fundamentalist? I was wondering that myself. And of course, it’s caused this great rift in the nation…a nation that puts “E pluribus unum” (Out of many, one) on its coins. Yet here we are. It’s we versus them.

But it’s not. I keep hearing that the Democrats have lost touch with the American people, that religious fundamentalism is all the rage now. And perhaps too they will get someone like Pat Robertson or God knows who else on their bandwagon. But I look at the paintings of Norman Rockwell, and I see the real America. There’s a simple truth to them that the Democrats have lost sight of (and the Republicans exploit). They say all politics are local, and they’re right. When your life consists of saying grace at the dinner table, getting ready for the prom, getting the latest gossip from the neighbors, what do you care about healthcare and lockboxes?

I must admit I’m a blue stater in my own way, so I don’t think GW Bush necessarily speaks for these people. But for the love of God, there’s got to be someone out there that does!