Posts tagged ‘Barack Obama’

Glenn-BeckFor those of you who don’t know who Glenn Beck is, let me give you a brief biography. He’s this guy that won a radio DJ contest and rode that wave into a show on the Fox News Channel, where he gets paid to show the batshit insane side of Fox News. Recently, Beck has gotten some attention over some remarks he made about President Barack Obama.

Earlier last week, he made the case that the Obama presidency was indeed an oligarchy because the first letters of words HE CHOSE to describe the Obama White House spelled out OLIGARCH. Well, OLIGARH, but who’s counting? When I viewed this clip of him explaining this, my head exploded.

But then I began to think about it. HOPE is actually an anagram for PHOE. Now if you don’t know what phở is, it’s a Vietnamese soup dish consisting of beef and noodles. It dawned upon me that Barack Obama was turning America into a tasty noodle soup! With the government running healthcare, doctors will be forced to sit on death panels overseeing the killing of countless grandmas to be turned into rice noodles and broth! People, don’t you see what’s happening?! If Obama gets his way, you’ll have to say good-bye to Grandpa Joe and say hello to Phở bò chín nạc (Mmmmmmm, Phở bò chín nạc).

Upon further thought, I realized that if you re-arrange the letters in Barack Obama’s name, you get RABBAOCMAKA, which in this language I just made up means “black guy who will destroy America”. I mean what more proof do you need, America?! Wake up! Take a stand! I mean…*sniff*…I’m sorry…* sniff *…I love my country, and I fear for it.

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FatHelga Obama-izedI just had to Obama-ize something and FatHelga (aka my alter ego) seemed like the right thing to do. I really have no desire to explain the etiology of “FatHelga” though I am asked constantly about it (especially on dates).

“So what’s the deal with ‘FatHelga’?”

“Is that the name of an old girlfriend or something?”

“Why the nun with the cigar?”

“Are you on drugs or something?”

Can’t I have a little mystery? Can’t I just be a tad quirky without having to explain my zaniness? Can’t I just be?

Like a complete unknown.

Like a rolling stone.

If you want to Obama-ize something, you can check out Obamicon.Me. It’s a great waste of exactly 2 minutes and 37 seconds.

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Joe Biden at the Inaugural ParadeThe word for the inauguration? Cold. Sure, you would throw out words like inspiring, hopeful, etc., but if you were actually there, the word was ‘cold’. And yes, I had tickets to the inaugural parade, which in hindsight, ruined my day because instead of sitting back and enjoying myself, I was worried about making it to the parade route on time. And on time we did, but the secret service shut down the entrance and there we waited…in the COLD…for an hour and a half wondering if we were even going to get in. What a relief it was to get in finally…only to sit on bleachers with the COLD wind in our faces. For a parade that ended up being an hour late. Well, I guess it was too cold for the president because apparently we ducked into his car and sped through the whole procession. So we didn’t even get to see him but through a limousine window. Joe Biden, the consolation prize, got out and braved the cold weather to greet the chilled masses. And when he did, I was shivering so much, I couldn’t even get a decent non-blurry picture.

But in truth it was an exhilarating day. It was a day I never thought I’d see. To see the end of the Era of WTF-ness and see a new president take office who promises a better presidency, a better America, than what we’ve become used to. So for now, I’m still cold from that day, but I expect that once the chill wears off, a spirit of hope will replace it.

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Image from

Image from

Barack Obama was elected president of the United States of America last night.


The most emotional part of the evening was seeing this image on The Huffington Post saying “We HAVE overcome.” That is the epitome of hope. This is not a perfect nation by any regard. We were oppressed by an imperial force, we underwent a great civil war, we struggled with extending the right to vote to large segments of our population. But as Obama taught us all earlier this year, we are striving for a more perfect union.

And last night, I think this union became just a little more perfect.

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I VotedI waited in line for one and a half hours this morning, but I finally cast my ballot for Barack Obama. Now it’s a matter of time to see if the rest of America follows suit.

While waiting in line, I was thinking about why I was about to vote for Obama. I’ve heard a recurring refrain from everyone I talked to who has voiced skepticism about him and his campaign: He’s good at delivering speeches. I’ve wondered whether I was merely being swayed by “fancy speeches”, by mere emotion rather than rationality. Standing queued up in that hot room, I thought about tax plans, health care proposals, energy policies, foreign policies, the Iraq war. I then thought about patriotism and history. It was a long wait mind you.

But I think what was most emblematic of this election was last night on television. Here in Virginia, which is hotly contested, we have been getting bombarded by both campaigns especially with TV ads. Even though Obama’s been outspending McCain here with like 30 commercials to every one of his, last night there was a virtual blitz with both campaigns blanketing the airwaves. And I noticed a stark difference between the two campaigns in those commercials. In the McCain ads, you had grainy recordings of Biden saying we’ll be “tested” with Obama as president, or questions about going under the knife with someone who had never done surgery before. In the Obama ads, you had Obama himself talking about his tax plan or about his background. While one campaign was running on fear, the other was running on hope. (I’m generalizing, but you get the point)

And I think that’s why I’m voting Obama in this election. I’m tired of fear. I’m tired of leaders that want to make us afraid of the world, that want us to believe they have all the answers. I don’t think Obama has all the answers. I don’t think he’s the Messiah. But he espouses what I believe about this country, that we can rise above our differences, that patriotism takes on many forms, that the American people don’t want to be told to shut up and go to the mall.

So I decided to vote for hope over fear. Whether that’s emotional or rational, THAT I really can’t decide.

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